Saturday, May 30, 2009

Top 5 Most Annoying Movie Quotes of All Time

Throughout our lives, we have become accustomed to movies.  They are a staple of today's social realm.  As a result, movies are incorporated into our everyday life in the form of quotes.  Most of the time, a quote serves as a means to apply something said from someone famous that everyone knows to a mundane conversation or situation to lighten the mood or break the ice or whatever it be.  Quotes have been used almost since movies came out.  From, "Play it again, Sam." to "Hasta La Vista, Baby" to "Show me the Money!!"  Most of the time, the quotes serve their purpose and the ice is broken and the one-huff chuckle ensues.  But there are a few quotes, I'm sure a lot more than I will enumerate, that have been exhausted to the point of irritation, and in some cases to the point of shear annoyance.  Most of the time, it is due to the fact that people tailor the quote to the situation thinking it is unique, the problem is everyone has done it, so the only thing unique is the extemporized word put into the quote (i.e. "Play it again, Joe."  "Hasta La Vista, Jer-ry"  "Show me the Big League Chew!!").  This is my Top 5 Most Annoying Movie Quotes of All Time:

5.  "You had me at 'Hello'."  Dorothy Boyd - Jerry Maguire.  During the scene, Jerry Maguire says, "Hello, blah blah blah ..." and explains why he's sorry and that he wants to be with Dorothy and towards the end of his speech, she interrupts and says, "Shut up, you had me at 'Hello'."  A very compelling scene, however, not nearly as compelling in real life.  When you say to someone, "I'm going to the store real quick to get some cereal, milk, condoms, alcohol, diapers ..." and they rudely interrupt you by saying, "Shut-up, you had me at 'I'm Going'," you laughed a little on the outside, but died a little on the inside.  Just substituting 'Hello' with some random word or phrase from their sentence like 'I'm Going' or 'Alcohol' only tells you the person doesn't want you around or that they're an alcoholic.

4.  "I see dead people."  Cole Sear - The Sixth Sense.  The obvious improvisation in this quote would be a surrogate to 'Dead'.  This has been done in many TV shows and even a few movies.  One particularly that stands out in my mind is from Undercover Brother "I see White people."  What the general population doesn't realize, is that this has never really been funny.  If you think to a time you heard someone quote this by saying, "I see drunk people" at a party or "I see red people" at the beach, you were never laughing.  The most you gave as an acknowledgment to this attempt at humor was a smile and a single chuckle.  But we all know it was only for pleasantries.

3.  "My Precious!"  Golem - The Lord of the Rings Trilogy.  What makes this quote bad is not that people try to change the quote to fit the situation, it's that people try to recreate the voice of Golem.  It was a very unique voice that did great for the movie but not for impersonators.  The dilemma in this situation is almost everyone who does it, thinks they do a masterful job of it.  The bottom line is:  if someone takes the remote control, a piece of food, your medication; or if you reach for a drink, your wallet, your wife; don't try the line.  You can't do the voice no matter how hard you try. 

2.  "Run Forrest, run!"  Jenny Curan - Forrest Gump.  Sometimes running is your only option if you have to be somewhere fast and sometimes running is just another exercise.  If the former is the case, you don't have time to stop and punch someone in the face for feeling the need to yell this quote when you've never even met them before.  If the latter is the case, not only do you have time for some good old fashion elbow-to-ear action, but you're probably in decent shape too.  My only solution to putting an end to the terrible injustice being done to this outstanding movie is to exercise in regular clothes.  When people yell this out, they know you don't have time to rearrange their limbs because of the clothes your wearing.  Next time you go running, run in a suit.  Then, you have the time allotted for a healthy beat-down and can make it home in time to eat before you go to work.

And, Drum-roll please, the all-time most annoying Movie Quote is:

1.  "This one time, at band camp ..."  Michelle Flaherty - American Pie.  Need I say more?  I don't believe since the movie released in 1999, has a person alive said, "This one time..." without someone in the room interrupting with "at band camp."  The only person that has ever thought this was funny, is the person saying it.  Most of time, they are the people that feel like they always have to say something funny in a group of people when they don't really ever make people laugh, no matter what the cost (see my previous post "Naps and 1-Ups"), but no matter what the reason, it's not funny!

Please help spread the awareness of the gross misdeeds done to these movies.  If you or someone you know uses these quotes, please seek help, for your sake and the sake of humanity.


  1. Most annoying quotes of all time...

    "Can you open the database?"

    "Can you go in to the database?"

    HAHAHA... I am just way too funny! :)

  2. Brice do we need to talk, I sense an anger control issue or two in you.....Your loving Auntie....(Smile)