Friday, June 5, 2009

The Store Where Dreams are Manufactured and Sold at a Reasonable Price

Throughout the week, as we go about our lives, the everyday necessities of food, soap, clothes, cocain... powdered sugar eventually abate, forcing us to leave the comfort of whatever habitation we have chosen to replenish the things that help us live.  Unfortunately, over the past decade or so, there has been one conglomeration that has risen above the competition by providing lower prices, disgruntled employees, and sub-standard quality products:  Wal-Mart.  Why?  Why has Wal-Mart made it to the top of consumer ladder? 

Has Wal-Mart made it because of their low prices or product quality?  This could be a factor in our choice.  When you can get Smacks Cereal for $3.99 at a local grocery store or $3.92 from Wal-Mart, why wouldn’t you choose the amazing discount found at Wal-Mart?  When you can buy a large, red, juicy, 10 ounce steak for $6.99 at Uncle Joe’s Market or a large, reddish-brown, there-may-be-something-growing-on-it 10 ounceish steak product for $6.72 at Wal-Mart, again, why not choose money over health?  Purchasing a DVD Player?  Well now you have a couple options.  You can go with a $50 discount on a name brand product such as Sony by purchasing through the Wal, during which case you will have spent your money in vain due to the fact that it will stop working 91 days after you buy it and 1 day after the warranty is expired, or you can buy a Wal-Mart brand “Great Value” DVD player for $5 and it will only play the DVDs that are in your car because it doesn’t last the ride home before internally combusting.  Wal-Mart has obvious lower prices, with a $.05 discount on this and $.17 discount on that, the sickness you may get or frustrations you incur are worth the penny saved. 

Has Wal-Mart made it due to their customer service?  It’s hardly fair to compare Wal-Mart to any other company by their customer service alone.  Everything about the store makes it customer friendly.  All of the convicted felon “cart technicians” try their best not to be in your way when you’re backing out or lecherously stare at your wife/children as you walk past.  The horribly disfigured/severely old denizens “greeting” you as you enter try hard not to sound too enthusiastic, in fact, most of time it comes off as gruff and perturbed so as not to make you think they are happier than the most displeased of those of us who enter.  They have 243 registers in the front, but don’t be fooled, they wouldn’t want you to have to pick between them so they only have 5 open for your convenience and they are all being held up by someone writing a check (don’t even get me started on checkwriting).  Let’s not forget the employees throughout the store that know where everything is in the two rows they have been assigned in case you have any questions about those two aisles.  Of course we wouldn’t expect them to know where anything else in the store is or even what part of the store to start looking.  Wal-Mart has incontestable customer service, from the carts to the electronics, they can’t be beat.

So, as another week drones on and your toilet paper runs out or your DVD player breaks down, please consider the life and safety of your loved ones before making the choice of your neighborhood Wal-Mart.


  1. Wow! Alrighty then! I will continue to shop at Walmart because I'm getting to the age when I my need a job there some day.

  2. I Love it! Wal Mart is so the necessary evil! Whenever I can't find what I am looking for there, it is better that I find it on my own than ask an associate who doesn't know.

  3. Soooo if it comes to a choice of shopping at my local name brand store where the quality is no better and the price for a similar product is 3.OO more for the exact same product consistently , and I can save up to $100.00 a shopping trip on groceries in order to feed my family, I will brave the wilds of walking by those hard working people who deserve a job, no matter how wierd (?)they may appear to you (Like our family isn't wierd??????hahahah). I have no choice most months as I have skyrocketsing medical costs, skyrocketing insurance premiums and copays...dont get me started on the woeful state of the medical system in this country......arrgh love ya brice.....

  4. haha. you are weird. entertaining, but weird. (:

  5. I would love to make a hilarious comment on this post, but I still have about 50 bags of grocery/neccessity to put away from my 3 hour trip to...Wal-Mart :)